How to regain the "feeling of home"?

When we live through sudden traumatic events, it can greatly affect our basic concepts. This includes a ‘sense of home.’ These are experiences that there is a place with people to which one can always return even from the most brutal messes in order to rebuild oneself and, at times, gently reassemble oneself.

After a traumatic event, perceptions of basic safety may change. For example, there is a ‘realisation’ that from that point on, nowhere and no one will be safe, a ‘sense of home’ is lost. This can manifest itself in:

- constant wariness and tension;

- insomnia;

- decreased libido;

- chronic muscle pain (often in the shoulders, neck and legs).

To help yourself recover from trauma and regain a ‘sense of home,’ it's important to find a safe place and safe people. Literally create a personal rehabilitation centre for yourself.

Anything will do for a place: your own flat or a rented one, a hotel or hostel, a room. It is important that a person can fill this place with ‘him/herself’, make it fit for him/herself. Small pleasant things, plants that create a special personal cosiness and give joy.

Safe people are those who are accepting and supportive, without judgement and evaluation. It is important that such people respond safely.  For example, if a person talks about a situation, it should not traumatise the listener.These can be loved ones, friends, professionals. They do not have to be around all the time, but they should be available for contact. It is good if there are several such people.

Everyone has the right to these simple but very important things that can help to bring back the ‘feeling of home’.