How to interact with people who have experienced traumatic events?

When we want to support people with traumatic experiences, our first task is to stay connected to ourselves and to build a gentle, supportive connection. Here are six ideas that can help:

1. Create a safe space. Ask if the person feels comfortable. Simple questions about lighting, temperature, or body position already show care. That’s already a connection.

2. Be open and curious. It’s important to understand that you don’t know what might trigger a person with trauma — and often, they don’t either.

3. Work with self- and co-regulation. You can support another person only if you feel safe yourself. When you are regulated, your presence becomes something others can lean on.

4. Maintain eye contact. Let your gaze say “I’m here,” not “I’m here to save you.” Speak in a way that doesn’t make the person feel pitied or like you’re trying to help at any cost.

5. Don’t be afraid to talk about your own feelings in the conversation. This can help create space for mutuality and honesty. For example, you can say: “When I hear what you’re sharing, I feel sad. It’s important for me to be here with you now. Is there anything that could support you at this moment?”

6.Notice what happens in your body when you encounter something shocking. As long as you can stay aware of your own sensations while staying connected to the other person, you’re relatively safe.